Bloghttp://www.parentingbeyond.com/blog/en-US2008-09-08T15:50:31ZSquarespace Site Server v5.0.0 (http://www.squarespace.com/)"Tot" Shabbathttp://www.parentingbeyond.com/blog/2008/9/6/tot-shabbat.htmlErica2008-09-06T15:59:23ZWe had the most wonderful invitation to Shabbat dinner...in Gabriel's room!  He has a small Ikea coloring table up there, and he decided that it was high time we all came up to "his house" for Shabbat.  It was adorable, he cleaned off the table and helped set it, graciously led the blessings and kind-of ate his tuna noodle casserole (it was way too exciting to focus on the food much).  He did really seem to enjoy the challah he'd brought home from the Gan, which he had covered liberally with sesame seeds and cinnamon-sugar.  All and all, it was the best invitation we'd had in a long time!  Gabriel tells me, "It's nice to have visitors for Shabbat!"

]]>Blessedhttp://www.parentingbeyond.com/blog/2008/8/29/blessed.htmlErica2008-08-29T17:33:35ZI am truly blessed to have such amazing and wonderful friends.  Two of the best are Genevive and Peter, a fellow PhD student and her husband, a pastor.  They came under heavy, public fire this week at their new church because - get this - because they associate with me, a Jew and a lesbian.

I think that Melissa and I are the first gay couple that Gen and Peter have known well, and I count them among our dearest friends.  It pains me that someone attempted to wound them using me as the instrument, but I am fabulously, immeasurably, insanely grateful that they stood up to the accuser and demonstrated the beauty of their characters and the generosity of their courage.  I'm blessed. 

Faith, Hope and Love.  Remember??

If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

]]>Dog "crackers"http://www.parentingbeyond.com/blog/2008/8/24/dog-crackers.htmlErica2008-08-24T20:58:57ZAnd when I exclaimed "Noa, what on earth are you eating?" She proudly pointed to the dog dish and said, "CRACKER!"

 

]]>A Four-Year Old Contemplates Theodicyhttp://www.parentingbeyond.com/blog/2008/8/17/a-four-year-old-contemplates-theodicy.htmlErica2008-08-17T15:41:22ZA couple of degrees in theology are no match for a justice-minded preschooler. The conversation on my bed this morning went like this.

Gabriel: Wake up mama! There was a big spider on my wall and I killed it with Noa’s bear and flicked it off because it was yucky!

Me: Eww. But I thought last week you said that bugs were God’s creatures, and we shouldn’t hurt them.

Gabriel: That’s good bugs. Spiders is not God’s creatures.

Me: They aren’t?

Gabriel: (thinks a moment…) No. God makes all the good stuff, but there is a bad God too and he makes the bad stuff like spiders. And boo boos and injrees. (He means injuries. I will have to ask the difference between boo boos and injuries…maybe just a matter of degree?) The bad God fights the good God and the good God wants to defeat him.

Me: (sensing trouble) Um, well. There certainly are people who have said that. Usually Jews think that there is just one God and that God is good. But there is a bad “power” in the world. And we get to be superheroes and try to help God defeat the bad power and make the world good.

Gabriel looks at me skeptically. I went too far with the superheroes bit. I think we’ll be returning to this discussion.



]]>Heresy!http://www.parentingbeyond.com/blog/2008/7/24/heresy.htmlErica2008-07-24T15:18:00ZJew...ish Well, folks, it was just a matter of time.  I've finally been publicly accused of promoting avodah zarah.  (That's idol worship to some of you.)  Well, it was bound to happen.  I mean, some of my best friends are heretics and idol worshippers.  I guess it rubbed off.  [...and maybe now they all will be receiving toasters?]

My loved ones will be nodding sagely as they read this; they knew it was coming.  That Erica just can't pass up a good heresy. 

Hopefully it's not catching.  Please wash your hands responsibly after reading this post.

]]>With this ring, I thee re-wed.http://www.parentingbeyond.com/blog/2008/7/16/with-this-ring-i-thee-re-wed.htmlErica2008-07-16T20:10:34ZDisclaimer:  No heterosexual marriages were harmed in the making of this wedding.

2008%20wedding.jpgWell we've gone and done it...again.  The third time is the charm, right??  Yesterday afternoon in a beautiful Berkeley backyard, Rabbi Jane once again pronounced us wife and wife - except this time she got to say the magic words, "Through the power vested in me by the State of California..."  Our wonderful friends Monica and Mark, and their darling baby Sophia Rose, witnessed.  It was 3 month old Sophia's very first wedding, and I'm sure it was memorable for her.  Although she did not seem quite as interested in the actual nuptials as she was in keeping her binkie tucked in her little rosebud mouth. 

We don't care that Washington doesn't recognize our marriage, we are totally thrilled.  Thank you Jane and Stewart, thank you California, thank you Monica, Mark and Sophia, and thanks to our family and friends for being supportive and excited for us.  More champagne for everyone!

]]>Goin' to California and We're Gonna Get Maaaaarried...http://www.parentingbeyond.com/blog/2008/6/22/goin-to-california-and-were-gonna-get-maaaaarried.htmlErica2008-06-22T19:11:07Zwindow%20dressing.jpgAll right, so the image has nothing to do with this post, but who can resist little naked Noa (in an photo I've titled "Windowdressing") and her cutie-pie Mommy?  My two favorite girls in the - to use Gabriel's version of the expression - "whole live world."

Now for the real news.  We are not taking the kids to CA for the legal nuptials - our third time at the altar - as per my prior post.  Why?  Its just too bloody expensive.  So scratch that.  But!  We have a different, all-day-marathon-wedding plan.  Sounds fun, no?  July 15 we'll fly to CA at goddamn early am, quick rent a car, speedily drive to the Alameda County Clerk for a licence, and then go out to brunch.  Then, ever the hedonist, I am trying to talk Melissa into driving me to the library so that I can rapidly copy about 10 articles that my dissertation can't do without.  Such fun.  Then, it is off to see the Rabbi.... and make an honest woman out of both of us with vows, pizza and champagne in her backyard...  then zap!  back on a plane home the same evening, hoping that our two short accomplices have not killed off Grandmommy and Papa in the intervening 18 hours.

Every little girl's dream.  No, all joking aside, we had our "real" wedding, and it was beautiful - just not legal.  We are just catching up the legal part, which makes everything feel that much more complete, right, and FAIR.  So what if our home state still won't acknowledge it, we lived in CA for seven years, both kids were conceived there... we just might move back to the land of oranges, air conditioners and legally married queer families.  Stranger things have happened.

So:  my most HEARTFELT CONGRATULATIONS go out to all the gay and lesbian couples who have already become legally married in California in the last week or so.  A blessing on your beautiful heads.  We'll be joining you soon. 

]]>Zen and the Art of Lawn mower Maintenancehttp://www.parentingbeyond.com/blog/2008/6/16/zen-and-the-art-of-lawn-mower-maintenance.htmlErica2008-06-16T18:56:10ZKids!repairs.jpg                                                                  Otherwise known as free child labor.  I'm telling you, you can't start them too young.repairs1.jpg  Just hold that bottle out at arm's length and say, "Not until you've cleaned Mommy's toilet..."

Don't call CPS.  Do notice that we removed the blade from the mower before this helpful little extravaganza began.  I expected Gabriel to have fun scraping all the crud out from the bottom of the machine, but just look at little Noa, agog over all the shiny silver tools.  She had a blast just trying each of them out and getting Melissa's toolkit all grassy. 

]]>Preschool Semioticshttp://www.parentingbeyond.com/blog/2008/6/7/preschool-semiotics.htmlErica2008-06-07T06:10:53ZKids!traffic_light_all.pngGabriel likes to help me drive.  He has learned about traffic lights, and with his keen little eyes spies signals far in the distance...and expects an instantaneous motor vehicle response.  "But it is RED, mama."  "Where???"  "Waaaaay up there!"

Okay.  So this morning on the way to school he explained the system to me.  "Red is on top, see, because Spiderman is the top, and he is red."

And green?  "Green is the bottom because Spiderman 'feats (he mean defeats) the Green Goblin."

I knew there was a method to this madness.  He did not have an explanation for the yellow light yet, but I'm sure it is coming soon, to a booster seat very near myself.

]]>Ouch!http://www.parentingbeyond.com/blog/2008/6/3/ouch.htmlErica2008-06-03T23:28:02ZIMG_2831.jpg

Just look, look, LOOK at those cute little teeth.  They are lethal weapons.  I'm not kidding.  This charming child has been sick, and understandably cranky...  but she bit a small chunk of my nipple right OFF.  I'm maimed.  There goes that Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue gig... 

It began as a nasty, bleeding bite... when I finally got a look I thought 'No, that flap she chewed off of there will totally heal back down.."  Now I know the truth.  Parenting hurts.  I was considering applying vices to Melissa's nipples to give her a proper appreciation and "sympathy pains," until I saw her pale, weak complexion when I asked for ANOTHER cotton swab to clear away the blood.  She gets it.  She wouldn't put her nipple into that gaping maw of teeth to SAVE HER LIFE.

So I went to the doctor - we were going anyway - and revealed the wound.  Um, she says, you know, you have given her a good start.... at 13 months she's totally ready for whole cow's milk...  and yet I hesitate to wean.  Maybe its the fantastic pressure of the World Frickin' Health Organization telling me to keep it up for 2 years...  maybe it is the ease and convenience of putting her down for naps, and bedtime, with that hypnotizing boob...  but now I've lost a chunk of my nipple to this deal, and there is going to be hell to pay.  I'm calling La Leche in the morning and taking it out on one of those well meaning gals. Someone will sympathise! Just be glad I didn't post a pic of that nipple.

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