Parenting Beyond the Pale

...and the pharmacy...and the supermarket...the park...

Gabriel is very social, very gregarious and VERY four.  He has developed what I call his "meeting people patter."  If a stranger greets him... smiles at him... or basically comes anywhere near him, he starts in, (in a very loud voice)  "HI MY NAME IS GABRIEL AND I HAVE A MOMMY AND A MAMA AND A BABY SISTER NAMED NOA AND I USED TO HAVE A DOG NAMED ABBY BUT SHE DIED SO NOW I HAVE A DOG NAMED TOBY."   All in one breath, quickly, like he is worried that if he pauses the stranger will interrupt and not let him finish.  This is often met with confusion.  "Excuse me?"  He takes the opportunity to deliver the speech again, even more loudly - just in case they don't hear well, I guess - "HI MY NAME IS GABRIEL AND I HAVE A MOMMY AND A MAMA AND A BABY SISTER NAMED NOA AND I USED TO HAVE A DOG NAMED ABBY BUT SHE DIED SO NOW I HAVE A DOG NAMED TOBY." 

At this point, people are craning their necks to witness the show.  Lucky us!  If he notices that the audience has grown, he'll be sure to make sure that any newcomers to his world are caught up on the particulars...  again... "HI MY NAME IS GABRIEL AND I HAVE A MOMMY AND A MAMA AND A BABY SISTER NAMED NOA AND I USED TO HAVE A DOG NAMED ABBY BUT SHE DIED SO NOW I HAVE A DOG NAMED TOBY."  

Now, although we aren't closeted or anything, there are times when you would just like to buy a bloody gallon of milk without announcing your sexual orientation and marital status to the entire populace.  Too bad, sisters.  Want privacy?  You should have skipped the kids.  And you have got to love him for it.  He is utterly unselfconscious about having lesbian moms - its just how things are in his little world.  And he has noticed that his life is a little different and might be of interest to the passing crowds.  To the credit of all the strangers we have ever met, anywhere, who have witnessed this little pageant:  No one has EVER shown him a bad or disapproving reaction.  He gets the best reactions, for some reason, at Trader Joe's.  My favorite response?  From a nice guy stocking the shelves, "Wow, I only have ONE Mommy.  You are REALLY lucky!"  Gabriel beamed all the way home.

My own parents would probably tell you that I richly deserve all this public outing - apparently at about Gabriel's age I had the annoying habit of approaching strangers and announcing, "My name is Erica and my Mommy is Sherry and she weighs 112 pounds and I don't have brothers and sisters because my Daddy got fixed."  So what goes around, does come around.